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Monthly Archives: August 2012

The epic meltdown of the century

Ever since my adorable, tiny baby was born, I’ve been looking forward to when we could get back to our previous schedule of frequent outings. Well, not ever since, since for at least a few days to a week I was quite enjoying just sitting around having a normal breastfeeding relationship with my new baby. It wasn’t before long, though, that I realized that my ability to remain calm in the face of my toddler’s inability to remain calm hinged on our ability to get her the hell out of the house. Having a newborn who eats on a regular schedule of all the time put a damper on my ability to go anywhere where I wasn’t just sitting right back down and feeding her again. (Another hindrance in our leaving the house was the factor of how inordinately hot it’s been this summer and my inability to survive and parent when it’s inordinately hot.)

When adorable, tiny newborn was about a month old, after a couple of weeks of increasing tension from seeing only each other all day, every day, the three of us went for a walk to the playground. It went fairly well. Newborn (C) slept in the Ergobaby or nursed almost the entire time. Toddler (G) played with “her friends”, aka kids she just met. There were a few less than optimal aspects to our trip. I should’ve brought the stroller at least for the walk home. I should’ve brought the water bottle. I couldn’t have done anything differently when it came time to leave and C started crying just as G was running away, crying that she didn’t want to leave.

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Posted by on August 13, 2012 in mama

 

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Blogging about talking about sleep

What do people mean when they ask you if your baby is sleeping through the night? Do they know that normal baby sleep doesn’t always involve sleeping the entire night for 8-12 hours? Do they want to judge you if your baby isn’t sleeping through the night? Do they want to sympathize if you’re not getting a full night’s sleep? Do they really mean to ask if you’re getting enough sleep but the “normal” question to ask a new parent is about the baby’s sleep?

It doesn’t matter. I’m done caring about the motives behind the question “is your baby sleeping through the night” because I’m done answering it. I’m instituting a sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy about baby sleep. It may be based in superstition or coincidence or a misunderstanding in the difference between correlation and causation, but that doesn’t really matter. I’m done answering any questions about my children’s sleep.

Why, you might ask, would I do such a thing? I’ll tell you.

Any time someone asks about how well my kid is sleeping, I’ll try to be positive (and part of it is my ability to forget the frustrating times and only remember the successful, restful times) and say something like “oh, she sleeps great. She wakes up a few times to nurse but is right back to sleep, usually.” (See, I even say things like “usually” because I don’t want to jinx it.) Invariably, that very night, something different will happen (difficulty falling asleep, waking more during the night, waking earlier in the morning than usual), and I’ll remember that conversation about sleep, shake my fist and curse talking about sleep.

I’m fully aware that any of those things could happen on any other night and I’d just get frustrated, but deal with it as a variation of normal or developmental/growth spurt or what have you. The fact that I’d just spoken about sleep in a positive way makes the negative that much more negative. Hence, I am not going to talk about sleep anymore (or at least that’s my goal). If you ask me how well my newborn sleeps, well, I haven’t thought of a simple, clever, inoffensive response yet, so I might start ranting about how talking about sleep changes the sleep so I don’t want to talk about it. I guess I should work on that response.

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2012 in mama

 

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Bassinet of doom…

I know that newborns are accustomed to being held (so to speak) constantly since that’s what it felt like in the womb. I know that the feeling of hunger is a new, possibly confusing feeling. I was prepared for and am totally content with holding and nursing my newborn baby whenever and for as long as she wants.

On the other hand, sometimes I have to tend to my other child or (heaven forbid) use the bathroom (something that I have not figured out how to do one handed while holding a baby). In these instances, I put my newborn down either in her bouncy seat if she’s awake or her bassinet if she’s sleeping. She is ok with sitting in the bouncy seat for at least the few minutes I need to run to the bathroom or start making lunch or whatever. The bassinet is a lot more tricky.

Nine times out of ten, when I put her in the bassinet, she wakes up three or so minutes later with a wet diaper. Every once in a rare while, she’ll stay asleep for 10-25 minutes, which I consider a successful transfer from my lap to the basinet. Those other, more frequent times, are way more frustrating. It’s not like I can check her diaper without fear of waking her up before I transfer her, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty sure this bassinet is having some sort of diuretic effect on my baby. I’m pretty sure the moment I let go from placing her in the bassinet, some sort of something magic happens where she pees, and then moments later realizes it, wakes up and starts crying.

I’m trying very hard not to let this discourage me from continuing my attempts to successfully transfer her to the bassinet, especially when those rare times do happen and I can make lunch with two hands. (I also know that were I more adept at babywearing (and more comfortable using a more simple carrier like a sling), I would be able to do more things with both hands.) I’m pretty sure it’s just a coincidence, but it doesn’t feel like it when, for the fifth time in a day, I put her down then five minutes later have to change a wet diaper.

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2012 in baby

 

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