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Memorial Day weekend lesson learned

This weekend, I learned a valuable lesson about myself. Or rather, I officially recognized what I’d known about myself for a while yet hadn’t necessarily taken seriously.

If I get overheated, I do not function.

It’s not so much that if it’s warm out, I get a little cranky or if I get warm, I get cranky. If I’m overheated (which is exacerbated by the pregnancy, no doubt), my ability to engage with the world in a respectful way decreases until I’m a raging, frustrated puddle of sweat. I am unable to parent in a way that my child deserves. I am unable to interact with others in a way that they deserve. I am unable to care for myself in a way that I deserve (and even writing that sentence is somewhat difficult in that merely acknowledging that I deserve to be taken care of properly brings up feelings of guilt that I’d be taking time or attention away from caring for my family, but that’s a tangent for another post).

It doesn’t matter what the thermostat says. It doesn’t matter what other people are feeling. If I feel as if I’m overheating, I have to take steps to prevent it from getting out of hand. I have to make myself drink ice water. I have to get myself in front of a fan or in a room with air conditioning. I have to be ok with the possibility that our electricity bill will be higher from running our A/C more frequently, especially if that means that I’m able to treat my family the way they deserve and the way I prefer.

Maybe this kind of thing is obvious. Maybe this kind of self-care/self-awareness is normal for most people. Up until the past few days, though, I’ve been thinking of temperature control in terms of others being comfortable, and if I got too warm, well, I just had to suck it up and deal with it (so said my internal monologue, not anyone else). Sucking it up isn’t working anymore. I’m learning to trust myself, learning to recognize my limitations before I reach them (at least for the most part), and learning to speak up or make changes to prevent myself from turning into the Incredible Sweat Puddle Hulk. Because really, no one wants to see that.

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2012 in mama

 

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Protected: Pregnancy Post: Dream time

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Posted by on April 1, 2012 in pregnancy

 

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Pregnancy Post: 26 Weeks

[We’re just going to ignore the fact that I haven’t written anything about my pregnancy until now.]

Last Wednesday, I had my 26 week prenatal appointment. I had the gestational diabetes screening (with orange juice instead of glucola). Blood pressure, fetal heart rate and weight were all good. At my 22 week appointment, I was measuring 24 cm, and now I’m measuring 30 cm. The midwife reassured me that the measurements had a 2 cm wiggle room, and that there were many reasons I could be measuring a little bit larger than expected. She wasn’t worried, so I’m trying not to worry.

Coincidentally, it was last week that I started having stomach capacity issues. It took me a few days or so, but I’ve figured out that I can eat from half to 2/3 of what I normally eat at a meal without feeling like I’m going to explode. The first few meals, I just felt like I was going to vomit for hours after the meal. Then one day I felt like I couldn’t eat anything, and was somewhat worried that my first trimester food aversion (everything sounded and smelled disgusting and I had to force myself to eat at times) was back, but it only lasted a day or so.

I’m gradually getting used to this new food limitation, as I’m gradually getting used to the limitations in my activity. I’m mostly able to keep up with my energetic little one as well as keep up with some housekeeping, as long as I make sure to rest throughout the day. I also have to pay more attention to what position I’m sleeping. Overdoing it in the garden plus sleeping in a less optimal position left me with almost a week of back pain that I’d like to avoid.

My belly is only going to get bigger. I’m only going to have to run (waddle) to the bathroom more frequently. I’ll probably get into a better habit of sleeping when Grace sleeps (such as for naps). Bring it on.

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2012 in mama

 

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